Gluten-free Bagels are disgusting!< absolutefutility >
I have been in a very comfortable place with my gluten sensitivity for over a decade. I knew exactly how much gluten I could tolerate without any problems.
Over the years, however, that window of permissible gluten started shrinking until it was too narrow not to notice. I had figured out that I was fine with two pieces of bread, as in for a sandwich. I could handle a bun for a hotdog or a sausage. Hamburger buns and tortillas were okay as long as I never had more than one in a meal.
Things were trickier when it came to high-gluten content items like pizza. I refused to give up pizza or, worse, eat those fake crusts. Cauliflower does NOT belong in a pizza crust! I knew that I could be okay with only one or two pieces of pizza - depending on their size and how they were cut. One New York-style slice was my limit, but I could be okay with two or three of the tavern-cut versions.
But pasta!
Whatever it was about pasta, there was no acceptable limit. If I had any pasta then I knew I'd end up paying the consequences. But how can you give up pasta!? That means giving up Mac & Cheese, Spaghetti & Meatballs, Lasagna, Baked Ziti! I just kept my portion sizes small and took one for the team!
Then, about five years ago, bagels fell into this category. There was zero amount of bagel that I could handle. I worked around it by putting cream cheese on other types of things. Blueberry muffins, banana nut bread, anything like that.
But the craving for a bagel with cream cheese and Lebanon bologna and yellow mustard is hard to resist! It was this last craving that made me finally try the gluten-free bagel.
If you get the opportunity to try a gluten-free bagel...don't.
They're bland, tasteless, the texture is wrong, and they don't toast properly.
My pasta problem has gotten much worse lately. I've been trying to track down some decent gluten-free pasta options, but I have had no luck whatsoever doing that. I tried the gluten-free noodles that are made out of corn and they tasted like eating a wet bowl of corn chips. No, they did NOT taste like corn flakes! I tried the red lentils and they turned into a very vividly orange mush in the pot. The chickpea ones fell apart and had a slimy texture.
The only solution I think I might have is if I use Chinese rice noodles. I made a shrimp alfredo with rice noodles once before and it was delicious. I tried buying a case of rice noodles last night and it literally broke Amazon. They're SO expensive compared to wheat pasta. I hate the idea of spending 10x the price on something I haven't previously tried. But then you get into that Catch-22 where you have to spend $5 to buy a box to find out if you like it enough to spend $20 to buy a case of six boxes. Then you've spent more than if you'd just bought the $20 case!
Walmart was no help since they have the same price as Amazon.
It makes me think that we should investigate the possibility of savory cakes. Cakes have much less gluten than breads or pastas. Maybe there's some way to make a garlic cake that has a sausage and tomato filling with an Italian cheese frosting?
I think I can make that work! I know there is actually a ketchup cake. It can't be that far off...